Under Full Attack

Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age,  against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.  ~ Ephesians 6:10-12

The last couple days have been EXTREMELY rough for me. Yes I had my victory with the doctor. I had a good day, but someone was not happy about that and has been attacking me from the time I woke up the next morning. Spiritual warfare is REAL. The past two nights I have had nightmares. I have noticed a pattern over the last few weeks of our greatest enemy Satan desperately targeting every weakness of my past and present. I have grown exhausted emotionally in just two short days. I've gone through a cycle of loss of appetite and then the temptations to starve myself out of the blue.

The oppressions attacking my marriage, issues we have worked through drudging up again and staring me in the face, family relationships, and a whole host of other things, one after another. 

The picture above is a perfect expression of how I feel. I'm determined to resist the enemy knowing he will flee from me. I continue to wake up putting on the armor of God each morning through my devotionals and prayers. I listen to the Lord's encouragement through friends and church family who have been supportive. 

But at the same time, I am a weary warrior. It takes everything within me to fight the panic attacks, the depression, the hopelessness I feel. My head is pressed hard against the mountain before me, looming and taunting me with its monstrosity. It isn't the physical I'm fighting against, but the spiritual. 

Years of demonic cycles that have chained my family line, imprisoned us in hopelessness and despair. Backgrounds of witchcraft and darkness. I can almost hear the laughter from the pit of hell as he congratulates himself on what he's maintained through the generations before me in sadistic satisfactory pleasure. 

Yet I have refused this fate. I have refused this as the future for my family, for my children, grandchildren, and so on. I am standing up against it. I am a threat to the dark world because Jesus' light is shining, exposing it for what it is. 

He HATES this. He HATES me. He HATES that Jesus is freeing me from it all and has chosen to use me to help END IT. It's like every arrow with the words of my weaknesses written on them comes hurling at me as soon as God gives me victory with each one. 

This is a battle and I can't let Satan win. Ironically this is Easter weekend. The time when Jesus conquers darkness and makes a way for us to be saved from sin. The enemy is on full attack against me. But Jesus is victorious through His resurrection and that means I also am victorious through Him. Amen! 

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